Sex and Cosleeping. Tips for Doing It.
Cosleeping has been one of the most wonderful experiences of my life. Next to the actual births of my children, cosleeping has been the most amazing experience. Waking up next to my children and seeing their smiling faces, keeping watch if they’re sick, and lovingly nursing them has been simply beautiful.
I love cosleeping, I recommend cosleeping and I wouldn’t have it any other way! However, if you’re like my husband and I, having the bed in-use by the children can complicate your sex life. If it’s the primary place you have sex, your routine may need to change. Here’s a bit from my life, some input from friends and readers and tips for having a sex life and cosleeping.
I didn’t always feel this way about cosleeping. After the birth of my first son friends and family urged me to not let him into bed. “Once you bring him into bed you’ll never get him out!” “You won’t have ‘alone time’ for your husband if you bring baby into bed.” To be honest I let them rattle me and I tried to avoid cosleeping.
My first son slept in a cosleeper next to the bed or bassinet for the first few months and slept poorly. I was EXHAUSTED to say the least. When he woke, I’d pick him up, sit in a rocking chair and nurse him back to sleep, get up quietly, place him in the bassinet then he would wake all over again. I tried nursing him to sleep in the crib literally climbing in with him, the swing, the pack and play, an arm’s reach cosleeper and a cosleeping device that sat in the bed. All failures. I went months without sleep.
I finally listened to other breastfeeding Moms from my support group, got a side rail from Amazon and started cosleeping. Right away, I felt like a huge weight had been lifted. While he still woke to nurse, I felt like a new woman because I fed him in side-lying and fell right back asleep when he was finished eating. He never truly woke up. Some refer it to it as dream feeding. I would feel him start to stir, stick my boob in his face before he cried and he was back to sleep after his meal fast!
Being able to feed my baby without having to sit up or get out of bed lead for a much more restful night…but now the bed was nearly always occupied with children. Especially after we had several children, finding time when the bed is empty is rare. Truth is, having children changes your life, all aspects, including intimate time and we were going to have to change too.
(Pin image below to pinterest)
Maybe you’re hoping for another baby, maybe you just want to get it on with your partner; If the bed is your primary place for having sex, then you’ll need to rethink your routine if you cosleeping…especially if there are multiple children in the bed! If you like to bounce around, make baby-waking noise or use the whole bed…then it’s time to revamp your routine.
Here are some tips for Having Sex and Cosleeping:
- Discover the Couch (Or kitchen counter, floor, the wall, dining room table etc.) Get creative. This is a new opportunity to spice up your sex life! No one is using the kids’ bed!? Guess what…you are.
- Wait until baby is asleep. (Really asleep) Nursing? Nurse baby to sleep, roll away quietly and stick to your side of the bed (for quiet love makers or very deep sleeping babies, certainly don’t try this if you’ll bounce the little one out)
- Have Morning Sex or After-Nooners. If you’re a night-time sex couple, change it up! Have sex when the kids aren’t sleeping in your bed, break out the high-chair/pack and play and put on a movie, wait until nap time in the swing or drop them off at Grandma’s.
- Have fun with it! Remember sneaking around as a teenager? Yep, all over again!
- Discover the quickie. Tell your partner exactly how to ring your bell before the cows come home and not only have amazing sex, and communicate communicate communicate.
- Discover toys. Maybe a vibrator will give you the race winning advantage to reach your peak, maybe it’s some clitoral arousal gel or a flogger (yes I saw the trailer to that movie too!) – hey, whatever works for you works. Go for it.
- Take the Oral Route. Maybe having a full-romp isn’t in the cards, however there’s no reason why you both can’t have an orgasm. Discover, rediscover or go to an all time favorite…lip service followed by snuggle time. Not your thing? Get a flavored lubricant sampler and go for it!
Okay, yes I went there. This article is meant for other parents and maybe it will open discussion. Bottom line is that your lives have changed and there are two ways to go about your sex life. Have fun with it and discover a new way to ‘do it’ or gripe and complain about not being able to do it the way you did before children and have less sex. This article is not meant to offend anyone, but to bring up something I hear about regularly from Moms.
I hope this has given you inspiration, maybe it’s something you already do, or maybe it was just a good laugh with your cup of coffee. Either way, your spouse, your partner is your life partner and things will change over time. You can roll with the hills…or fall in a ditch…either way you are in the driver’s seat. Or perhaps the saddle.
Disclosure: This is not a sponsored post, it does contain affiliate links. (comment moderation is turned ON on my blog so comments do not publish without my approval) and have a wonderful day!!
Couple in collage © Can Stock Photo / photography33