Dear Pretend Happy Mom Bloggers; A Letter from a Not-Fake Mom Blogger

     I was bouncing back and forth from my computer to household chores when a video, shared by a fellow blogger, showed in the feed from my facebook timeline. It was a Mom blogger letting the proverbial cat out of the bag about blogging. I was surprised to see a video of this blogger’s confession of her “fake” happy posts taking precedence over other topics. This blogger was revealing tidbits about all Mom bloggers, while real news was happening. While this woman was babbling on about her falsities in blogging, while the ticker read “…With an estimated 50,000 civilians trapped in the Isis stronghold” and I thought, why would this story ever take precedence over civilian lives? The real news is on the ticker! However, I hit the volume button and decided to listen anyway.
     The story opens with a voice over and quickly leads into an interview with a Mom blogger revealing the fake world of Mom blogging to society. She reports; “I was posting photos that were happy because I needed that post.” Referring to paid posts. Now, as a Mom blogger myself, I have completed sponsored posts. A sponsored post is a post where a company or organization pays a blogger to post about their brand. I have never been instructed to post happy photos and quite frequently receive little to no instructions at all. Most companies are happy to receive exposure, have a blogger put their individual twist on it and get their company links into another website. In addition, if the product or company isn’t a good fit for my family I simply don’t do it.

     Here’s the kicker. If someone did ask me to post fake happy photos…I would say NO. One little word. No. One of the main benefits to owning my own website is that I have total control. I could write a post right now titled ” Three Headed Homosexual Transgender Chicken Rapists use Target Bathrooms” and guess what, I could. I would definitely lose sponsors, friends and my sou because I pass no judgement on others’ lifestyle choices…but I bet the visits to my blog would be numerous. Not that I would ever have content like that on my blog, but you see my point. As a writer and photographer, I have total control of my content and images. So should you. It’s not the fault of all Mom bloggers that you are not as happy as your portray, and it saddens me to hear that you’re generally unhappy. 
     Pretending to be a happy Mom blogger does not make you a martyr. There are falsities in advertising everywhere you look. A person of average intelligence and reason should know this.  I don’t think Martha Stewart is as happy as she appears in her magazine and I certainly don’t believe people advertising toothpaste and prescription drugs on TV are that enthusiastic. While someone is smiling and dancing on the beach, a side effect voice over reel is going off: Side effects may include sudden death, loss of vision, limb loss, erectile dysfunction, stroke, heart attack, bleeding from the eyeballs, spontaneous combustion and likelihood to cause invisibility. Just like that person, you were paid to participate in an advertisement, which is what a sponsored post is. If you didn’t or don’t want to do it, then don’t. If you don’t want to pretend to be happy, then don’t. I’m sure a photo of you in your pajamas, unshowered for 4 days in a house that looks like a small tornado hit would speak to a larger audience then your fake happy photos.
     As a busy Mom to 4 small children, I never looked at your photos and thought you were happy or wanted to become like you. I thought they were staged and assume most people do. To be honest my first thought was Oh God, that woman must be taking Ritalin. Not as a prescription, but as a house-keeping performance enhancer you stole from your nephew or purchased on the street. My other thoughts included; “This woman’s children must be seriously neglected while she spends hours scrubbing every inch of the kitchen and fixing her hair and makeup.” and “OMG, look how bored this woman is, her house is sooo clean she must have paid help and nothing better to do then post obviously staged photo shoots pretending to be Rachel Ray.” Never wished my life was like yours or thought you were happy.
     The real truth about Mom bloggers. Even though I may not always be happy in my photos, I am infinitely more happy in my most miserable parenting moment then I ever was before I had my babies. Days when everyone is screaming, someone pooped on me, peed on the floor, the dog is barking and the house is a disaster; I am still happier then I was before I had children. Becoming a Mom, and all it’s messy moments completes me. I’m sorry that you need to pretend, but don’t project this fake-happy persona on all Mom bloggers. YOU ARE NOT THE SPOKESWOMAN FOR MOM BLOGGERS. We can speak for ourselves, and we do!

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