How to shower like a Mother

Before kids, I really enjoyed taking a shower. Not that I don’t enjoy it now, it’s just that the opportunity to take a long hot shower doesn’t present itself nearly as often. Sometimes, I would take a shower in the morning and thenĀ again at night.

When I became a Mom, I didn’t realize that something as mundane as showering would be taken off of the to-do list. Forget baths. From the moment I arrived home with my newborn, he seemed to know exactly when I stepped into the shower and signaled so by crying his little heart out.

Eventually, I learned to shower like a Mother and here’s how it’s done.

Let it go!

The first thing you need to shower like a Mother is to not shower. That’s right, I repeat, do not shower. The shower may be off limits because baby needs you, the day has escaped and now you’re too tired and can’t fight sleep or the shower may already be occupied by bathing babies. Either way, forget it. Let it go!

Take care of what’s important

Next, you need to find yourself a wash cloth and some soap. Not the fancy soap, the soap that’s okay for lady parts and armpits. Stand next to the sink, in the shower or tub without the actual water running, and spend about 30 seconds scrubbing the most important parts. Between your legs, front and back, and under your arms. If you have time, after the most important regions are washed, use some face soap and spritz some water on your locks to freshen the do. Use a new washcloth or your hands, do not use the crotch-cloth on your face.

Dry time

If you have time left over, use a dry cloth or towel to pat things dry. Make sure to squat down well or lift a leg to really do a good job drying. If you don’t have a towel, you can kind of squat a bit and wait for evaporation to occur, or walk quickly enough to create a draft to help air things out. A wet groin is just a welcoming environment for fungal infections, and we all know there is no time for a trip to the doctor.

Grandma always said

After the pat-dry, the squat-dry or the walk-to-dry, put on a fresh pair of underwear. Grandma always said that it’s important to have on clean underwear. The way fate would work is that the day you try to reuse a pair, you’d get knocked on the head and wind up being taken by ambulance…wearing not so fresh briefs. Listen to Grandma, change your underwear daily.

Someday there will be time for long showers

No, my nails aren’t painted, I didn’t get a 20 minute shower today, I haven’t had a good night of sleep in nearly 7 years but someday, there will be time for all of that. Someday, my babies will be grown. Then, there will be time for showers, time for manicuring my eyebrows and soaking in a bubble bath. Today, today I’m going to shower like a Mother and hold my babies because babies don’t last forever!

shower like a mother

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One thought on “How to shower like a Mother

  • December 12, 2017 at 1:09 pm
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    As a mother of two daughters and one on the way. I’m always taking quick bath. I try to do my long bath on those days that I’m not feeling well being pregnant. I have my toddler in the hallway by the bathroom with my phone watching her favorite shows. I miss the long hot showers with door closed.

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