Happy Father’s Day to Fathers Who are Not Related

Happy Father’s Day to Fathers who are not related

Happy Father’s Day to Men who are not Fathers because of DNA. To men who are fathers not by conception and genetics. Happy Father’s Day to the men who choose to be Fathers. Who Choose to be Grandfathers. The men who wake up every day and step up to the plate, no matter what is thrown at them.

Happy Father’s Day to the Stepdads, to boyfriends who take on the father role and rock it. Happy Father’s Day to men who parent children they did not see born. Children they did not hold at birth, who’s diapers they did not change and who’s genes are unrelated.

Happy Father’s Day to the men who love women and their children as if they were their own.

Happy Father’s Day to men who are Grandfathers to babies who do not hold a branch on their family tree. Who hold their newborn Grandchildren with love and joy in their hearts.

Today is your day.

father's day stepdads

Father’s Day is hard for Daughters

Father’s Day is hard for daughters like me. Each year I stand in the Hallmark Aisle staring at the cards. I have to choose between two or three poorly written Stepdad cards that convey the message they were bought simply out of obligation. The other set of cards is written for Fathers who are still well, fathering.

There is no card that says “Thanks for the first 10 years of my life, after that you really fucked up.” Or “Thanks for your DNA, without you I wouldn’t have become a zygote.” In turn, there is no card that says “Thank you for loving my children, your Grandchildren, and stopping over unannounced to mow the grass…under no genetic obligation.”

Maybe I should start writing for card companies? Do you think they use the “F” word? I have considered submitting a few drafts.

Those two sentences tell you a lot about me and a lot about the man my children know as Pop. I am sharing this because I know many others can relate. That’s Pop in the photo here. In fact, he was pretending that he didn’t know I was taking this photo. Capturing him gazing lovingly at my newborn baby. His 4th Grandson, from my husband and I, and another little boy to love him to extremes. Extremes. My boys love him infinitely.

Happy Father's Day to StepDads

Father’s Day is for the “other” men

It’s always difficult when people ask “Is this your Father?” or they ask him “Is this your daughter?” When I was younger, I didn’t know how to respond. I would mumble a few sentences, trying to describe how we are all gathered here today. As I’ve grown older, I simply say “yes” and smile. My children ask “Is Pop your Dad?” I say, yes he is and he’s your Grandfather!

Happy Father’s Day to the Pops of the world

Happy Father’s Day to the men who have chosen to be Fathers today. Not by genetics, not by obligation but by choice. Anyone can make a child. It takes a real man, a real human being, to raise them.

Simply, and also not so simply, Thank you.

3 thoughts on “Happy Father’s Day to Fathers Who are Not Related

  • June 19, 2017 at 3:19 pm
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    A child doesn’t really have to have your DNA to be your child. There are many out there who are outstanding fathers and are not genetically related. I hope all you men out there had a great Fathers Day. You deserve it. Thank you for being who you are. God Bless

    Reply
  • June 26, 2017 at 10:53 am
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    I love this! While my Dad was my Dad and I love him with all my heart, my stepfather was the one who stepped in and raised me!! He supported my Mom, myself and my brothers and sisters the whole while growing up!! He deserves this day <3

    Reply
  • June 29, 2017 at 7:33 pm
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    I belong to an organization called “Uncles at Large”…basically adopting a child whose father could’t or wouldn’t face up to his commitments or sharing……there are too many like that; and too few people who appreciate the affection from men like this

    Reply

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