tml What Breastfeeding Moms Truly Think of Formula Moms – Mama Banana's Adventures

What Breastfeeding Moms Truly Think of Formula Moms

I’ve been breastfeeding for nearly 6 years now straight, and I think I’ve heard it all. Breastfeeding permeates every area of my life. When baby is first born, I spend hour after hour breastfeeding. Newborns nurse constantly (which is normal) and if I’m not nursing, then I’m changing my nursing pads, pumping or trying to find time for chores or things I really want to do (like take a shower!). Breastfeeding has changed my social circles, the family members I visit/interact with and how I do and plan everything during my day. Breastfeeding is a HUGE part of my family and I and I enjoy sharing our experiences with other Moms. It has become, and will forever be a part of me.

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In the beginning I was pushed towards formula. I was formula fed as a baby, and the women in my family did not breastfeed. Not only did my Mom, Grandma and Aunts not breastfeed, they told me over and over again how great it was (while I was pregnant). I grew up hearing things like “How could she just whip it out in public, that Mom needs to cover up!” and the idea that there was something sexual to breastfeeding or shameful about doing it in front of others.

“Formula is easier” they said. My own Mom insisted that someone could watch my baby all night so I could sleep, or if hubby and I wanted to go on a date or for a few hour trip. It was tempting…I wouldn’t have to pump, worry about getting back to baby and anyone could feed him. I did try one to go out with hubby a few weeks after my first son was born. We both sat at Panera silently. Eventually we admitted that we missed our baby terribly and couldn’t wait to get back! I knew the next time we went out for dinner he would come along and I would end up nursing him awkwardly hidden in the back booth in Panera until my confidence and nursing skills improved. I purchased my first baby carrier too…those things should be handed out at the hospital!

How things went wrong. I was induced for the birth of my first son (which I heavily regret) which lead to having my water broken (because it was 7 am and that’s the time the Dr. went around breaking water) and getting my epidural (because it was my turn). I was left with a nurse who decided it was time to push (because I was 10 cm) and 5 hours into pushing (I later learned you listen to your body about when to push), I was being wheeled off for a c-section. Despite all of that…Breastfeeding went great for us, at first.

Then formula was “ordered” for my son because his biliruben was high and he had to be under the lights 24/7 for several days. Everything went downhill from there. He had trouble latching. My nipples became cracked and even bled a little. I cried for about 6 weeks straight. I felt like a failure. Nothing had gone the way I planned and my husband and Mom were offering me unlimited rest…all in exchange for formula. I didn’t give in, stuck with breastfeeding and almost 6 years later I’m nursing my 4th baby and tandem nursing for the 3rd time. I’m glad I chose this path, it has been the right journey for my children and I. I am thankful to have made it through, to be able to produce milk and I cried the first time I got a few ounces out with my pump. It’s emotional to say the least.

Through all of this I occasionally run into formula feeding Moms who seem to really have a bone to pick with breastfeeding itself and are very angry and possibly even hurt. One of the reasons that my social circles changed drastically. I never thought that the way I fed my baby would change the people I spend time with, but it did. Luckily, many of the breastfeeding Moms I have met also cloth diaper, babywear and aim to eat organically. I feel like I’ve known them for years! I feel very fortunate to have them in my life…even if we’re all so busy that it’s just online. When I do occasionally run into what seem to be very angry, resentful and preoccupied Moms who formula feed. I have been attacked (verbally) and told things like:

 “You are talking about breastfeeding to make me feel bad about formula.”
 “You feel like you’re better then everyone else because you breastfeed.”
“You talk about breastfeeding too much, you shouldn’t be trying to make other people feel bad, get off your high horse.”
     I thought, Wow…just Wow. Way to make my breastfeeding about you!! These comments always confuse me. It’s 9:00 in the morning. I have changed 3 poopy diapers, breastfed 2 babies, changed my milky bra (which started to smell like roadkill…Moms who nurse you know that smell!), made waffles and organic sausage for the kids. Given 4 baths (none to myself), fed the dog (one bath to the dog), the cat and taken out the recycling and swept the floors. Honestly, how other Moms feed their babies has not crossed my mind. In fact, I’m pumping right now! If I mention it, it’s not to make anyone feel bad…it’s just what I’m doing right now.
     Another Mom feeding her baby formula has not crossed my mind, and honestly I (like other breastfeeding Moms I know) am very busy with my own family…I don’t have time to contemplate how or what everyone else is feeding their baby. Not once. I do not breastfeed my children to make anyone else feel bad, I breastfeed my children because well, that’s what I want to do, the medical studies emphasize how important it is and I love providing my milk to my babies. I nurse my children from newborn through toddlerhood and practice toddler lead weaning.
If you want to feed your baby formula, that’s your choice. I honestly don’t think any ill thoughts. Most Moms I’ve run into are working so hard. So hard. What I usually think is that I hope our kids know how much we love them! If I have mentioned breastfeeding it’s because I spent 10 hours today doing it. It’s part of me…a HUGE part of me and my family…and just like anything else I would spend 10 hours doing, yes…I’m going to talk about it.
     Do I believe breast is best? Yes. There is a mountain of scientific evidence that says breastmilk is the best food for babies, which is one of the main reasons I choose to breastfeed until my babies are ready to wean. I’m not passing judgement on other Moms, it’s a fact. I have not breastfed my children today to upset anyone, I breastfeed my babies so they can eat.
I considered making a public announcement: I breastfeed, if you are not a fan: Please unfriend me, unfollow me and find people with interests similar to yours. Also considered getting a t-shirt.
     If any thought crosses my mind about formula, it’s that it looks easier. Easier how? Leaving baby doesn’t require pumping milk and ensuring milk is fresh and ready. I’ve also seen that baby in the backseat of a car with a bottle propped up on a blanket eating happily away while Mom drives. I have thought that it looks expensive. I have glanced at the formula containers at the grocery store and thought…Holy Shit!! Is that what formula costs?! It must be a hard expense on families. I’ve read the ingredients, seen that corn syrup solids are often a primary ingredient and thought that formula companies are really putting out a poor product. It should, at the very least, be standard non-GMO or organic and Moms should be demanding this. Babies don’t need chemicals in anything they eat.
     I’m thankful that we don’t need it, but I know Moms who have tried everything imaginable and are pained by supplementing. Moms have it hard.
     I have friends who exclusively breastfeed, I have friends who didn’t want to try breastfeeding at all and happily went right to formula, I have friends who desperately want to breastfeed but have supply issues and do both. I have friends who formula fed and regret it years later. What do I think of all of this? I hope everyone is doing what makes them happy. I believe most people already have too much stress in life to get tangled in who-is-feeding-their-baby-what arguments. I’ll do what’s right for my family and everyone else can do what’s right for theirs, and eventually our children will all be grown up…picking their noses and eating bananas…and Moms will be arguing about something else.
     Sooooo…What do Breastfeeding Moms Truly Think of Formula Moms? We don’t. We’re too busy!

     As always, thanks for stopping by! Comment Moderation is turned ON on my blog. Nasty comments about breastfeeding, formula feeding or anything else will be deleted.      I really appreciate a follow on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram and love to network on Google and LinkedIn. I’m also now on Periscope as @MamaBananasAdv . Companies care about these numbers when deciding which bloggers to select to review products etc. So thank you for following! Want to work together? E-mail MamaBananasAdventures@gmail.com

4 thoughts on “What Breastfeeding Moms Truly Think of Formula Moms

  • September 14, 2016 at 8:36 pm
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    Yes, seriously, I have given no thoughts to how your child is fed. When I see you feeding your child a bottle, I'm probably just looking at your pretty baby. If I see you nursing and flustered I'm still probably just peeking at your baby. The judgement is usually from the internet trolls out there. Keep on keeping on mama!

    Reply
  • September 14, 2016 at 8:36 pm
    Permalink

    Yes, seriously, I have given no thoughts to how your child is fed. When I see you feeding your child a bottle, I'm probably just looking at your pretty baby. If I see you nursing and flustered I'm still probably just peeking at your baby. The judgement is usually from the internet trolls out there. Keep on keeping on mama!

    Reply

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